Meet Madonna #Survivor

My name is Madonna Hepburn and I am a survivor of domestic violence. My story started around 2004, I had one child at the time, my 2 year old daughter. I met this guy that I thought was my prince, who I thought was the love of my life and I thought he really loved me. He never expressed emotions which should have been red flag number one for me. I never knew when he was upset, angry or even happy. He had a terrible relationship with his mom (he used to hit on her) which I didn't find out until later on in the relationship. Red flag number two, which I didn't acknowledge. He made sure he had my total trust and had my self esteem down so low I actually believed I was ugly and no one wanted me. The first time he hit me was because I did not cook the eggs the way he liked, he hit me so hard the plate and food flew across the room and my daughter was right there. This became a weekly routine. He hit me if I did something wrong, if I didn't answer quickly enough and then would buy me things. That was his way of apologizing. Each time with a promise to never do it again; this would last maybe two days three at the most. He would hit me, burn me with cigarettes, then pour alcohol over the burns. Tie me down and take sex whenever he wanted. I got pregnant one time; he beat me until I miscarried. I have been pushed out a moving car. He never would hit me or burn me in places that were visible because if I missed work I would get beat for that. My family never knew because I was able to hide the bruises. I started feeling like it was my fault, my daughter started to have anxiety if she wasn't with me, at that young age she knew something was wrong. He isolated me from my friends and family. This went on for about a year. In 2005, I got a new job and ladies at work knew the signs and immediately started praying for and with me. I finally opened up to someone. The day I finally had enough was when he took me out to eat and on the way home he stopped on the side of the road and he said, “You think you can leave me? Do you think I'm going to let you go?” He laughed hysterically and said to me with a straight face and that the only way out the relationship was death and that I will never know the day he was going to kill me. He will take me out as usual, kill me, cut up my body and mail it piece by piece to my family to torture them. The ride home that night felt like forever.  My legs were weak and my body was so numb. I just prayed for God to just let me get home, please. God did just that and I know it was nobody but God that gave me the energy to get out the car and make it in the house. When I did, I told my mom some things. I couldn't bear to tell her the whole truth. My job had security so he was not able to get in and I moved in with a coworker.  Between my family and coworker I would get to and from places. For months my mom said he would just sit outside waiting on me. He eventually gave up. Because I never healed from my past the most devastating thing is that I got into a marriage with too much baggage and pain and it resulted in divorce. If I would have talked about it, got help and healed my marriage would have lasted . I'm now on the road to healing and becoming a better mother, friend, sister, etc.